Breaking Free: Deny Your Own Victim Application
It might seem easier to play the victim and blame our shortcomings and lack of confidence or success in life on the way we were parented, because then you don’t have to take responsibility for your current lack of success or self-esteem or whatever else you feel is lacking in your life.
But if we translate that behavior, it means you are letting another person (ie: a parent), control your entire life—when really, you’re doing it to yourself. You have the capability and power to alter your perception and change your circumstances.
People prevail in life despite terrible parenting. So how did they escape the throes of victimhood? Is it just a crapshoot? No, those people wanted it badly enough and did the inner work to get there. How badly do you want it?
You can build self-worth, self-esteem, confidence, intelligence, or anything else you lacked from a parent or caregiver—even if you are so shy that you can barely talk to people. You are an adult now. It’s time to take responsibility. You will change your life if you take ownership of it. If not, you can keep on letting crappy parenting own you…but how is that working out for you?
A victim mentality is self-defeating because:
- Blaming others or external factors for one's problems disempowers them and stops them from taking action to find solutions and make changes.
- A defeatist outlook on life can lead to a lack of motivation and prevent the individual from reaching their full potential.
- Difficulty taking personal responsibility means that they miss opportunities to learn from their experiences and grow as a person.
- Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness can lead to depression and other mental health issues.
- Attracting negative experiences can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as the individual may engage in behaviors that reinforce their belief in being a victim.
- Difficulty setting boundaries and assertiveness can result in the individual being taken advantage of or mistreated.
Adopting a more empowered and proactive mindset can lead to more positive outcomes and personal growth.
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